First off I need to get it out there right off the bat. I am a net loser in the markets. I have already lost so much money that on paper it will take an act of God to ever get on the green side of the ledger. I have blown up several trading accounts and am currently short-stacked.
It is a terrible feeling because just as I have tapped my resources my knowledge and wisdom have grown exponentially.
Why do I even care about the markets at this point? Really I should hate them – they should revolt me. But they don’t. Each day is like a new puzzle waiting to be solved. Each day is a day that my thesis du jour gets tested and proved to be right or wrong.
How do I know if I am right or wrong?
Price is Truth
This is a powerful lesson that I had to learn. That I am still learning.
One of many lessons that I have learned in the last four years of my life since I was laid off from a great Advertising sales job in 2009 because of the credit bubble popping. That is the moment that I stumbled upon what I now consider to be my great passion, the financial markets. If I had known then the road I would take when I started paying attention to the market there is no way I would have gotten involved in this den of vipers but here I am and I cannot shake its gravitational pull.
The market is a harsh teacher and critic and takes no prisoners and does not respond to any one person’s hope or desire.
The market is on her own schedule and rhythm and if you align yourself properly to her energies you can surf the wave with great success and seemingly with little efforts but if you take for granted the sheer power of the forces that you are tapping into you are putting yourself at risk for mortal peril.
The only thing that can be used to judge success is price.
It’s really a simple concept but some people never do ever truly grasp the significance of that concept and forever are in search of the holy grail of investing and the secret to long-term wealth from the markets.
But I am convinced the secret is somewhere in the price action.
Why am I writing this? Well partially I feel the compulsion to write about my experiences to get them on paper so as not to forget the really important lessons. This is partially a self-journey, a healing process if you will.
Not that I can really ever truly forget what I have done since many of my choices ended up costing me hard earned money and confidence. Costing me trust from my wife that I love and the wife that put her faith in me. Costing me years of time spent on a losing proposition – putting me at great risk of future gainful employment in the middle of arguably the toughest economy since the Great Depression.
In other words I fucked up big time. I gambled and I lost and it hurts like hell. I have nobody to blame but myself and I take full credit and responsibility for my gains and losses.
That was another lesson I had to learn.
I have seemingly made every possible mistake there is to be made in the markets and I still make them. But I am in the process of working on my faults one by one. Desperately searching for the discipline to conquer my inner demons.
I have learned incredible things along the way. I feel I have something to offer to those who are looking for a different perspective and a story to tell the world about how the game is played even though I never worked in the Investment industry and don’t have any licenses to offer investment advice and frankly if you came here to get any of that you were always going to go away sorely disappointed and that is fine because that is not what I am doing here.
Do I think I have the skills to pay the bills? Fuck yes, in fact I believe in my skills to the ends of the earth. Why? Because of the sheer amount of time I have put into my craft. I have a passion for it, plus a natural gift for seeing subtle differences that others miss.
But only through actual time spent watching price tick by tick, year by year and observing and understanding all of the interactions do I now feel that I function on an almost unconscious level when I look at a chart. I am a bit of a charting savant and spend way too much time daily looking at charts. Call me a chart geek and I probably would not argue the point.
That in itself means NOTHING. That in itself is NOT any big fucking deal. There are a ton of great chartists and everyone is looking at the same thing. I am not patting myself on the back here in fact I am saying that it really does not matter except that I want you all to know that you can be really good at one piece of the puzzle but to be successful in life or in the markets the end result is what really matters. Scoreboard bitches!
If only I knew then what I know now – If only…but you cannot roll back the clock and there are no do-overs in the markets or in life. I am short stacked and now I need to play small ball until I can build myself back to where I need to be to fully utilize my talents and hard earned wisdom and that is all on me.
Despite the pain and misery and suffering the markets have bestowed on me I will not quit. I feel in my soul that the tuition paid in my blood will eventually come back to me and that there is a reason for my twisted and wicked path to date. There needed to be the pain first in order to get to the pleasure later when it will really matter.
I invite you to join me on my journey and maybe in the process we can all learn something important about the markets and more importantly about life and about the infinite wisdom of the Universe.