So a few months ago my wife and I started marriage counseling. We love each other deeply and there is really no issue in our marriage besides the fact that I don’t have a job and basically would rather look at the market all day and stock charts all night than bother to find a respectable career. That has to end because it’s not fair to her and she gave me my shot already and I blew it.
So anyhow we start marriage counseling which is kind of funny because I cannot stand doctors in general and shrinks in particular. But we have this nice British lady and she’s actually not that bad, and really she might be helping me in some ways actually, but I digress.
Within a few weeks the shrink can tell that I am the problem and she asks if I would be willing to take a personality test called Myers – Briggs. The test consisted of questions that you had to answer in a range of strongly disagree to strongly agree and somehow the way you answered the questions was supposed to say something about your personality. I reluctantly agreed since I knew that my wife would never let that one go if I refused.
The cool thing is that once you are finished answering all of the questions you find out at the end based on your score a specific personality profile that uses four letters – mine was INTP for example.
So here I was at home, having taken the test and graded it and I had my four letter profile “code” of sorts. Of course I had to go online to try to figure out what that meant so I Googled it and this is what I found on a few sites ( Keirsey.com (K)/ 16personalities.com (16))
“INTP – Introverted, Intuitive, Thinking Perceiving – the Architect”
“For Architects, the world exists primarily to be analyzed, understood, explained – and re-designed. What is important for Architects is that they grasp fundamental principles and natural laws, and that their designs are elegant, that is, efficient and coherent.” – K
Ok, after reading the first part above I start getting interested in this a little. The part about fundamental principles and laws and elegant design sort of sounded right…
“Architects are rare – maybe one percent of the population – and show the greatest precision in thought and speech of all the types. They tend to see distinctions and inconsistencies instantaneously, and can detect contradictions no matter when or where they were made. It is difficult for an Architect to listen to nonsense, even in a casual conversation, without pointing out the speaker’s error. “ – K
I have been accused of “going there” with people unnecessarily, of not having a filter in my comments to people and suddenly this test was telling me that there were others like me out there in the world. Now I was reading intently…
“Authority derived from office, credential, or celebrity does not impress them. Architects also become obsessed with analysis, and this can seem to shut others out. Once caught up in a thought process, Architects close off and persevere until they comprehend the issue in all its complexity.” – K
Truth told I had become obsessed. Obsession with the markets, with charts, with trying to find the ONE secret that would allow me to make up for all of the fuckups, for all of the stupid gambles, the miss-managed trades and miss-managed discipline from when I had no idea what the heck I was doing.
I decided to click over to a different site:
“INTPs cannot stand routine work – they would much rather tackle a difficult theoretical problem. INTP personalities really have no limits when it comes to theoretical riddles – if there is no easy solution and the topic is interesting enough, an INTP can spend ages trying to come up with a solution. -16
That in a nutshell describes what trading means to me, describes the markets, describes technical analysis, and explains why I have such a burning desire to UNDERSTAND the workings of such a complex thing. Probably describes, as a matter of fact, why I am a better analyst than trader by a mile. Those who can do, those who can’t chart or something like that.
And I was like holy shit this test works- this is how I am but more importantly this is NOT how OTHERS see me but how I see myself. Remember, I was in sales so I can schmooze with the best of them but I did not always feel comfortable in my skin.
“INTPs love theories and believe that everything can be analyzed and improved. They are not that concerned about the real world and practical things – from the INTPs’ perspective, it is often less exciting than ideas and intellectual pursuits. People with this personality type have no difficulties noticing patterns where others cannot – this makes them brilliant theorists and analysts.” – 16
BOOM went my head. I quickly re-read the last sentence: “People with this personality type have no difficulties noticing patterns where others cannot”….AH-FUCKING-HA! This is all making so much sense now…That last sentance is totally me. I see patterns nested in patterns nested in patterns and that is just when I am lying on the grass in the park.
Don’t get me started on patterns. This was officially getting weird, it was almost like I was reading about myself (except for all the brilliant theorist stuff which sounded more like my genius brother who had like a 1385 score on his SAT exam or some shit like that. Perfect score on the English and one or two wrong on the math.) Bro read the Hobbit at age 5 (seriously he did), was writing poetry by 6 and ended up having a breakdown before he hit college and was later diagnosed bi-polar. He is doing ok now but his tortured genius led him to organized religion because he needed structure and ballast for his incredible mind.
But you know what I am starting to realize these days? Religious Zealot Bi-Polar genius or INTP Shitty Trader genius we are all just trying to figure out the meaning of it all, you know?