Tag Archives: thoughts

Living Dead



Where do my emotions go when I bury them?

The absence of feeling in me is the most painful of all.

Yearning for the hot blast of alive.


The Machine does not allow for variance.

Slotted, herded, controlled, cajoled.

Led to willful slaughter like so many sheep.


Mind numbing diversions distract attention.

Controlled monotony of dreary lives.

Corporatocracy is supersized.


Teleport through dimension and time.

Find the place where the quiet mind

can truly hear the wind.


Shed your soul of the extra layers.

Travel lightly on your journey.

Every step filled with intention.

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These Are The Times


Shimmering radiance
of full moons glow.

Never more alive than
those moments when

I peel back the layers
of rote habit.

Prodding my inner core,
allowed to feel

my real emotions.
Not protected but

at least I am not dulled.
These are the times

that I feel connected,

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A Silence So Loud it Hurts


Grey mist replaces what once was bright.

A Silence So Loud It Hurts

A silence so loud it hurts.
Bottomless depths,
absence of light.

Drawing all feeling towards you.
Black hole gravity pull
will never relent.

What will be left when I am gone?
Echoes of us
shadows of love.

Colors drain from the picture.
Grey mists replace
what once was bright.

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In The Arms Of Mother


Held closely
in the arms of mother nature.
Her watchful gaze,
like a warm embrace that surrounds me.

Nothing bad
can happen here, you at my side.
Constant presence
guides me, providing gentle comfort.

Blowing breeze
swirling up through the canyon walls.
Calling to me
with the beautiful song of your love.

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What is Love


Love is having someone to run their fingers through your hair while you sleep.

Love is completely messing up and still receiving forgiveness.

Love is long walks together in silence.

Love is a big hug that never wants to end.

Love is willingly putting the other before yourself.

Love is multiple trips to the hardware store to get that project done.

Love is missing the other in their absence.

Love is not wanting to be anywhere else but right next to your lover.

Love is passionate disagreement, and make up sex afterwards.

Love is sacrifice.

Love is compromise.

Love is acceptance.

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Summer Remembrances Of The Yuba River

The Yuba river

The Yuba river


Shadows stretch languidly
fluid rivulets groove into granite.
Time passes with no words.

Echoes reverberate against box canyon walls.
Foam spray on mossy stones.
Driftwood collects in swirling eddies.

Dappled stars twinkle and dance on waters surface.
Scent of pine duff wafts.
Calm pools teem with life as
water skeeters flit and skip about.

Breathy breezes and puffy clouds.
Cans of cheap beer chill at rivers edge.
Eyes closed but calming ripples
fill my mind.
Falling deeply into summers trance.

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Morning Prayer 3/25/14



On this morning I draw strength and inspiration from others. Those that are kind and those that push through their difficulties and still find time to smile and greet me with warmth. Many are less fortunate than I. Realizing how blessed I am makes me happy. Cherishing my friendships and my family. The beauty around me every day is another source of inspiration. Watching the sun rise every morning is a wonderful opportunity to reflect on the Universe. How can I be anything but grateful for the blessing of life and health? My wish is that today I am able to reflect these feelings back into the world and find my peace.

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Shadow and light

Shadow and light

Shadow and light

On a recent day this week that took me to the Union Square area of San Francisco I took some photos that interested me. Mostly of architecture since I am fascinated by the craftsmanship that was used in prior decades. It is somewhat of a sad testimony to witness what was once art melding with function whereas now buildings are rarely more than steel, glass and plastic.

Detail of a medical building in downtown San Francisco

Detail of a medical building in downtown San Francisco

The above photograph illustrates my point. This was taken outside of a medical building and as you can see an artisan created a statement of intent that functioned both as art and as a sort of advertisement of what could be found inside. Form and function.

They don't build them like this anymore.

They don’t build them like this anymore.

Why do I long for the older style of architecture over the impersonal boxes of modern design? Perhaps it is a bit of romanticism. I will acknowledge that many of these old buildings are in dire need of modernizing on the inside. However to these eyes, the style and artistry exhibited by these grand old dames has a timeless quality that I find very hard to find fault with. What do you think?

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The Power Of A Smile

There is much that I don’t know but I do know about the power of a smile. My journey for truth and balance in life has taken many twists and turns. Struggles often outnumber achievements over the past few years. Bouts of depression and periods social isolation have taken their toll and the results have bubbled up to the surface of my psyche. My forays down the rabbit hole have led to some strange days and strains on my relationships. Some really tough lessons have been learned, and some really difficult experiences have been my life coach.

Honestly I am still a very flawed individual and at times it is difficult for me to love myself enough to overcome some of my hang ups. The identified problem is that I know that my self worth issues are holding me back from even greater progression as an person and as a soul. My challenge is to find effective ways to mitigate and lessen my tendency to be self destructive.

That is not to say that I am not actively working on my personal development, because I am. Between individual therapy sessions, group classes in behavioral therapy, weekly volunteer efforts, a renewed exercise regimen and a recently acquired part time job with a not for profit organization, I have been making progress in overcoming some of my bad habits and recurring self destructive tendencies.

Sometimes however the simplest therapy is often times the most effective. To over think can be to cloud the truth behind layers of unnecessary complexity. One of the greatest and quickest ways that I am able to uplift not only myself and also those around me to greet the world with a smile.

You would be amazed at how well this works if you don’t do this already. All that you need to do is to make eye contact with people and once you have that connection all you need to do is to smile. A nice wave and “hi there” or “hello” is great as well although it is not necessary if your smile comes from your heart.

You see, to smile is not enough in my opinion. If you want to make your smile impacting you need to feel love for the person that you are smiling at. Even if they are a complete stranger you can feel love for them. This is the same love that you can feel for a beautiful sunset, or for a warm evening breeze, or for the wafting smell of barbeque. The love I am talking about is just a simple love of what is. A love of the fact that we exist. The love of the wonder and beauty of the universe.

One of the greatest things about this simple exercise is the immediate feedback you receive. The reaction that refracts back to you from the individual that you greet with your love is instant and usually revealing and gratifying. Often times I get the distinct impression that I have made the day of that person by letting them realize that they are not alone in the world. They are part of a community of people and that they are loved and noticed. They are valued for existing.

The “Smile Game”

This is powerful medicine for both parties. For me, this feedback uplifts my spirit and soul. It puts me in a great frame of mind and encourages me to continue to engage and interact with people on a spiritual level. The great thing about this exercise (I prefer to call it “the smile game”) is how you can play it at any time. For example my favorite time to play the smile game is when I am out for a run in my neighborhood.

As I am running I invariably run into folks such as the garbage collectors, or the postman, or the UPS driver that has his route in my area. These folks get a smile and a wave from me and now they smile and wave back as well. They know me and I know them now. Random strangers walking children in strollers, or the elderly man out for a walk that I always seem to see on a certain street have become less than complete strangers because we have connected and are now aware of each other.

My sense of community and my sense of the rhythms of the neighborhood have increased. My connection with those around me has grown and my sense of isolation has diminished. Spiritually the smile game creates an immediate mood enhancement since it is hard to be unhappy if you feel love for your fellow man.

The flip side to this is that when you are feeling down the tendency is to keep your head down and maintain the isolation. Some days I just don’t feel much like playing the smile game. Those are the EXACT days that I get the most benefit from forcing myself to play. If you can flip the switch and make yourself get past your own sadness and realize how great it feels to just love a stranger unconditionally and give them a smile from your heart then your own mood will lift as well and you are well on your way to turning your day around for the better.

In conclusion, please understand that I have not conquered my demons and am not some enlightened man. My flaws are still very much a part of who I am. That does not mean that I don’t have insights and that there is not a pure expression of love inside of me (as there is in everybody). The more that you can tap into that love the happier that you can become and the greater this vibration can spread to others in your world.

Try playing the smile game the next time you are feeling a bit down and watch the magic happen for you and for those around you. It is the power of a smile!


As a postscript I wanted to mention that as of last week I had gained over 50 followers to this blog. While some of you big accounts probably get that many followers per week, this is a big deal to me and I am proud of the achievement. More importantly, I am heartened by the support and appreciate all of those who read my words, like my posts and who take the time to comment and interact with me.

A hearty THANK YOU to all of you fine folks and know that I am smiling at each and every one of you.

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Increase The Peace


I spotted this cool message embedded into the sidewalk while out on my run today and just had to come back later and snap a picture. 

Just another example of the messages that abound for those not walking around with their face jammed up against a smart phone like so many zombies I see every day.

After I took this picture I went and volunteered for a few hours at the food bank. Doing what I can to contribute to making this world just a little bit better.

What can you do to increase the peace?

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Morning Prayer

As my feet hit the ground out of my bed I say a morning prayer:

  • May I find grace and purpose in my day
  • May I greet those who cross my path with a smile and open heart
  • May I build up my strength and confidence in myself incrementally
  • May I capture my creativity and express it well
  • May I bring joy into my life and into the lives of those around me
  • May I love unconditionally
  • May I be at peace and let this peace reflect back out into the universeImage
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